Another Year Older

Today I turned 29, and for some reason I'm just not so sure how I feel about it. In a lot of ways, it's just a number and it's no big deal, but in so many other ways it makes me take a hard look at my life so far and wonder in my last year before I'm the big 3-0 and officially an "adult" what I have accomplished and what I still have yet to do. What makes it more interesting is that where I worked last week I was considered one of the "older" employees in respect to the majority of the rest of my coworkers, and this week I work at a place where I am literally the baby of the office. If that doesn't mess with your head when you are turning 29, right? One of my coworkers was nice to put things in perspective for me when I was explaining how I felt so fearful of being one year away from 30. She told me that being in your thirties is the best thing ever because you are finally an adult and really just stop giving a care about anyone or anything else... you just are and no one can stop you. Now, of course I paraphrased, but you get the point.

This morning I was trying to think of what I have accomplished since being in early adulthood, you know, something to show for what I've done since I finished undergrad. Here's what I came up with as the highlights:

1) Finished my Master's Degree in Music

2) Got married to a really great guy, who, strangely enough, will put up with my craziness

3) Figured out how to live within a budget and stop overcharging on credit cards

4) Gained the ability to say "no"

5) Found the strength to be able to break-away and move on

6) Learned how to identify true feelings

The last three are really intertwined, but have all given me the ability to do what I am doing today. Nonetheless, they have played a part in my everyday life since I learned how to do them. It has made me a better person. A more real person. And one step closer to being able to say "I don't give a 'crap'" like my coworker said you do in your thirties. I can't wait for that day.

There is a long list of things that I would like to accomplish before my thirtieth, but the list depresses me to no end because I feel as though I should have accomplished many of those things earlier. It makes me feel as though my real life hasn't started yet and I'm still stuck in limbo between child and adult. I still have a hard time accepting that I had to slow my pace the last few years, and I know I shouldn't feel that way. Perhaps this next year, of being 29, will remedy that as I check things off the list and can say that I moved forward this year and took a few big steps forward in to adulthood, in to my real life. Maybe I just needed to get to 29 for my life to truly begin. Who knows? Here's hoping...