Funny how sometimes something will hit you as being extremely poignant in your life. For me, today it was this YouTube clip that my friend shared. There are many days when I feel as though I've lost my course. I've lost my purpose. I've lost... something to believe in. Today was one of those days and when I saw the status update with the link on Facebook from my good friend, Jeremy, I clicked on the link. Most days I would just skim past such things. I don't know why today I decided to follow the link, but I did. And it hit home in so many profound ways.
Now, the talent of this artist to convey such a wonderful story with his music should not go with out comment. Wow. This is the type of artistry that makes me want to be an artist and communicate on a level that goes beyond the words. Something that can truly touch your soul and leave an impression on both yourself and those you are sharing it with.
As long as I've been living, I feel as though I've been searching for something or someone to believe in, because on some level, even in my greatest moments, I don't believe in myself. Frankly, for the last few days I've been experiencing an overwhelming sense of not believing in myself. Just as the song says, "I'm scared of failure," and for me that's to the point of feeling paralyzed with fear of actually doing things that I might possibly fail at, even though I have several examples in my life where I succeeded at that same thing. Perhaps I should be like that song says and "not mind it anymore." Then maybe I will find my something to believe in and it will be me.
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