I did this to myself

It's 12:30am and I'm not in bed. Yup, that's right, I'm having another gallbladder attack. At least this time I was smart enough to not bothering lying down to go to bed beforehand. And the worst part is that I could have prevented it had I made smarter choices over the last six hours. I overate (and really bad unhealthy foods at that) and I knew I was overeating but convinced myself I would be juuuuuust fine. Not so much. Apparently I'm having a really hard time listening to my stomach and instead am listening to the bad voices in my head that tell me I need to eat when really I'm not hungry and don't need to. If two full-blown gallbladder attacks isn't warning enough from my body to get my act back in gear I don't know what is. I just hope I can get my compulsions under control again... and fast. Problem is, the second I start feeling better (case in point, I felt great all day yesterday/Saturday) I allow myself to veer from my healthy eating habits and portion control. I don't want to be sick anymore, sick physically or mentally because my compulsive eating is a mental sickness that causes me to become physically sick and I'm struggling to re-find my cure.