Feeling Restless

I'm having one of those days. I feel restless and unsettled and I don't know what will make the feeling go away. Things have been going better this past week with no gallbladder flair-ups (thank goodness!) and I've been trying to concentrate on eating healthier again and avoiding eating sooooo much sugar and cookies, two major weaknesses of mine. I've been enjoying our new grill and, subsequently, having my husband cook lots of things for me on it. Takes the pressure off me having to plan and cook all of my meals ahead of time since I just have him cook me extra meat with whatever he is having that night. Throw some grilled chicken on a salad and I'm a happy camper.

Despite the recent upswing in my health, I am feeling really unsettled these past few days. Heck, week. It's the feeling of "I don't know where I'm heading in life right now" thing. Although, I guess I talked a little bit about this in my last post, didn't I? On one side of the spectrum I feel like I'm avoiding my life, but on the other side I feel like I'm too afraid to truly live it. Does that make any sense at all? Probably not, but I guess we talked about feeling disjointed last time too, didn't we?

So what is it that is eating away at me and causing me to be so restless? I'm avoiding sleep, but then sleep all morning when I can. Conversely, I'm avoiding working hard on the things I need to so I can reach my goals and move forward in my life, but I spend countless hours on distracting projects that at least make me feel content and "safe" where I am. The question that must be asked then, is how DO I get started actually living the life I want to live and stop avoiding it? The answer to the question alludes me and I am pretty positive that is what is causing me to remain so restless. I'm sure the answer is a simple one, I just don't know what it is or am too scared to admit that I do know it. Perhaps a little of both?