Toxic Chemicals

It might not come as a surprise to most who know me, but I have a SEVERE allergy/sensitivity/aversion to disinfecting wipes- namely the super toxic ones that everyone is obsessed with, Clorox and Lysol. One whiff of them is enough to send me in to a full blown asthma attack at times. Somedays, I can tolerate them so long as I'm not touching them, but it snowballs the more exposure I get.

Case in point: today. Part of my responsibilities at work at to clean the office at night. Everyone chips in, but due to my work schedule, the bulk of the responsibility falls on me. Yes, this allergic girl is responsible for cleaning. Stupid right? When I got hired that wasn't the case, we had a part-time cleaning person, but as the economy would have it, to save cost we let him go at the beginning of the year. Hence, I am now responsible since I work the late shift when there are less people in the office. Well, I have managed to continually pawn off the vaccuuming duties to other coworkers (which makes my nose bleed from the dust) for the most part, but the one job that continually falls on me that is most irritating to my nervous system is sanitizing the doorknobs and adjusting tables. For a long time we had these great hospital grade, fragrance free, germidical wipes. I loved them! They didn't irritate my lungs or skin or eyes. However, we stopped purchasing them because of cost and switched entirely to Clorox/Lysol wipes. A month or so ago when the last of the good fragrance free wipes started running out completely I mentioned to our person who orders supplies that I really needed the non-toxic wipes and could he please buy the Green Works or Method "natural" disinfecting wipes. Well, he forgot and then when he went to look he said he couldn't find them. How he missed the large section at Wal-mart, I'm not sure.

Anyway, cut to the last few weeks. Most of the time I wear gloves while using the disinfecting wipes (did you know that it actually says on the box that, basically, because they are so toxic you should always wear gloves while using them? Makes you wonder if you should use them around your children then, huh? Oh, wait, it says they aren't safe for children right on the box as well!), however I didn't few times last week because I was feeling brave. Go figure, ever since then I've been having issues with occassional asthma symptoms as well as some other strange feelings in my body- my liver seems to be kind of upset with me, but in the "attack" sort of way I usually get. Today, was apparently my body's last straw. Less then five minutes after I was done using the wipes, I developed asthma, my esophagus started spasming, and a large rash began to develop on my chest. My nervous system went in to full blown freak out mode- hence the uncontrollable crying that followed a few moments later.

Thankfully, I have an understanding supervisor and I told her that I was not disinfecting anything anymore. She is going to personally talk to our supply manager to make sure the natural wipes are purchased so I can still do the job that is asked of me- but safely. Fingers crossed everyone follows through and I can breathe safely at work again. And for the rest of my coworkers' sakes who have to use the wipes several times throughout the day, I hope they get the more natural wipes too.

Thanksgiving- Doing It A New Way: Healthy!

First, I have to comment that I am currently on cloud nine. Not only did I have a very fun and successful Thanksgiving (did I mention it was my first year hosting), but I just watched my all-time favorite Christmas movie, Love, Actually. How can you not feel good after watching this movie? Warm, fuzzy feelings abound and I can't stop smiling thinking about it!

Like I said, this was my first year hosting Thanksgiving. I had the in-laws over and even though it was a small crowd, I had an excuse to break out my China and to FINALLY eat the Thanksgiving meal I want to eat after five long years of eating their food. Thanksgiving dinner is alright at my in-laws, but it's neither anything remotely the same as what I grew up with or healthy. Sure it features the same foods-- turkey, stuffing, gravy, potatoes, cranberry sauce, and some sides-- but the quality and flavor of the food just was never there for me. And did I mention that they use whole milk in everything? I'm pretty sure I have been sick every year since I started eating Thanksgiving with them- one year was so bad I had to drive home with the window rolled down in 20 degree temps so the cold air would keep me from feeling like vomiting. Gross, gross, gross. Needless to say, when the opportunity arose to host this year, I jumped at the chance- and not just to show of my culinary prowress.

The suprise of the day for me was that everyone liked- make that LOVED my food! Even my hubby's grandmother who is an extremely picky eater, asked for seconds and took some home! I couldn't believe it! I wish I had taken pictures of the feast, but completely forgot and I could kick myself for it. So I will attempt to describe the food as best I can.

The turkey was a Giada de Laurentiis recipe that I have made before with herbs d'Provence and citrus. The flavor and moisture of this turkey is second to none. I can't say enough about this recipe, and even though I usually alter recipes I make, this one I do not. It needs no changing. Mouth-watering.

The stuffing/dressing was a Clean Eating magazine recipe that uses whole wheat sourdough bread with sauteed portabello mushrooms, leeks, and celery (recipe orginally called for carrots, I left them out as an good food allergic person should do, naturally). Healthy, and fresh and the sourdough gave a whole new dimension to the dish. Turns out sourdough is a favorite of my hubby's grandmother, hence her attraction to the recipe! And did I mention it is far lower in calories, sodium, and fat than a traditional stuffing? Oh, and lots more fiber! This recipe is a keeper!

For mashed potatoes I took a slightly different approach and added parsnips to the mix. Also, rather than using milk, I substituted chicken stock which actually gives them a different dimension of flavor that is quite nice. No one noticed the lack of whole milk (or dairy altogether, with the exception of butter- which actually is very low in lactose so is tolerable for people like me) and the parsnips in the mash got rave reviews.

Wanting a solid vegetable with the meal I made Clean Eating magazine's green bean with shallot recipe. This recipe called for chestnuts, but I left them out because of my allergies and whatnot. Honestly though, I'm not sure why they needed to be in there in the first place? I often wonder this with recipes-- frequently recipes will have nuts or cheese or other garnishy-type additions to them that you can just leave out and not notice an ounce of difference in taste. So my question to these recipe writers is, "why?" Why do we need to keep throwing cheese and nuts on every dish known to man? It's getting harder and harder to find dishes without dairy in the grocery store, have you noticed? But I digress... back to green beans. One of my favorite tricks that CE mag does is to put fresh lemon juice on sauteed vegetables. Brightens the flavor right up, and did not go unnoticed in this dish. It was quite good, though I think everyone forgot about them with the other food offered!

Finally, cranberries. I wanted cranberry sauce with the dinner so I made the CE mag recipe for it that has ginger and lemon and honey- so refreshing! I think I didn't put quite enough ginger in, but I used everything I had left on hand so it was good enough without having to go out and buy more. I also am known for my signature cranberry-pear pie as the holidays, so I found a recipe to make it a little healthier and lighter as a crisp. Excellent substitute for the pie, and it was gobbled up by everyone, even though they were hesitant at first to veer from the pumpkin pie comfort zone (I don't care for pumpkin pie so I had someone else bring it). Once everyone had a bite of it they were sold, as I knew they would be.

So the holidays don't have to be unhealthy? Who knew, right? I think the highest compliment today was that everyone loved the food but no one felt so overstuffed they were uncomfortable- even though A LOT of food was eaten!

Returned from the unknown... or something like it

I've been a bit delinquent. Ok, "a bit" might be an understatement, I've been very delinquent. It's been a few months since I've updated ye' old blog, but I promise it's because I was achieving beautiful and wonderful things. Which is actually totally true- I spent from August to October checking off a major item on the bucket list. The pride and sense of accomplishment I feel at having done that are immeasurable, and it has propelled me forward in my life with momentum I had lost somewhere along the way. It feels good to be back. :)

Over the past few months I've had the usual ups and downs with my health, but nothing too traumatic. I actually even spent a few weeks experimenting with/testing my food allergy to apples. At first, things went really well! I did several food challenges, spaced days or weeks apart eating organic apples. I was excited to discover that perhaps the food allergy had been a sensitivity to the pesticides and chemicals sprayed on the conventional apples!

And then, the itching started. A few weeks in to the challenge, when I was starting to eat the apples more closely together (days vs weeks) I noticed my ears starting to get itchy every time I ate one. Then I started to notice that I got full very quickly while eating them- just like with seafood when it's not cooked completely or I've been eating it to frequently. My body started to let me know it was at its breaking point. Wanting to give it one more go, I decided to test apple juice.

The taste of the juice on my lips was like pure gold and I gulped it down with a delight I can't explain in words. The taste was a symphony on my tongue- an old familiar friend coming back in to my life with a warm embrace.

Well, that warm embrace lasted less than two minutes. My right eye started to feel like it was bulging out of my head and an intense headache started to develop. About fifteen minutes later I felt like I needed to sleep and was so drowsy I headed straight for bed (thank goodness it was a Saturday). I was out cold. The puddle of drool that I awoke to was probably fit for a world record title of some sort. It was probably a good two-three solid hours that I slept (and drooled) after drinking the juice. Grouchy and groggy doesn't begin to explain how crappy I felt-- food allergy hangovers are unforgiving.

It was just over two weeks ago that I did the apple juice challenge and my body has not been the same since. Hives on my body, renewed sensitivities to body care products (even the hypoallergenic ones), irritation in my eyes that appears to be at some points like a mild form of pink eye from allergies, and continued sensitivities to food. Needless to say apples are out.

I was so looking forward to drinking apple cider or making an apple pie, but I guess I will have to stick with pears. But you know what? Pears are pretty darn good too!

Gallbladder Soup

As a follow up to my last post I need to share with you a recipe from gallbladderattack.com. It is called "Green Soup" but I think of it as gallbladder soup. It is recommended to help avoid gallbladder pain and relieve pain. Not to be used when in the middle of an attack, it is more useful to help clean out the system and ease the "load" on the digestive system.

You have never tasted freshness like this. While all of the veggies in it are season it tastes especially good, so even though I've not been having GB pain, I made it last week for fun. SO GOOD! I add extra water to the recipe and a pinch of salt.

Strange Validation

About a month ago I started taking piano lessons. As a singer- who hopefully will do something with the TWO degrees I have in music someday- I decided that it was important for me to get my piano skills up to snuff so that maybe I could consider teaching as an option. Lessons have been going well and my piano teacher is a very interesting person- kind, loving, and always looking for an opportunity to teach. She obviously spends most of her time with young children, and that is clearly her expertise. But, she works just fine for me so if she teaches me like she would a six year old, I'm okay with it so long as I'm learning.

At my lesson last week, she shared with me that after my lesson the week before she ended up going in to the hospital for emergency surgery. Apparently she was driving down the road and all the sudden had massive pain on her right side. Gallbladder. Of course, when she got to the hospital they immediately took her in for surgery and took it out. I wasn't surprised- even though she did not have stones or a previous history of gallbladder attack- as this is the protocol hospitals and "regular" doctors follow. She told me she had never felt better in her life and had not had any pain since.

The red light when on in my head.

While I was happy to hear she was having such great success after a week, I warned her the majority of gallbladder removal patients still have pain after surgery and to watch what she eats carefully so as to avoid any other potential flare-ups. She dismissed my warnings and assured me that she eats a healthy diet, avoids dairy, and eats all organic for the last few years.

Okay. I guess.

I was excited for her apparent returned health and thought perhaps she was one of the small portion of gallbladder removal patients that does not have continued pain after surgery. Yet, looking at her, and listening to her, and knowing that they removed her gallbladder when there were no large stones (only small minuscule ones) I still wondered if there wasn't something else going on with the liver. Nonetheless, I was happy she was feeling so good.

This Monday I showed up for my piano lesson at the scheduled time. She wasn't there. I thought perhaps I went to the wrong location as this was the week were supposed to start doing lessons at her regular studio instead of her house. The receptionist at the church thought it was odd that she wasn't there, wasn't like her to not be there for a lesson. We called her on her cell. She was in the hospital.

Gallbladder flare-up.

She told me that at 2 AM she had gone to the hospital because she was in such severe pain and had been there since. She apologized profusely for not being there, and I assured her it was okay and that she needed to concentrate on getting better.

I left the church, got in to my car, and it hit my like a ton of bricks. What strange validation? The path I chose- the path less followed- was right. I am doing the right thing. I have saved my health and my gallbladder. Had I listened to that doctor just over one year ago, and had my gallbladder removed, I would have been in the same situation as her-- wondering, "why am I still in pain? Why has it not gone away?"

This is the second time on my journey that I received such validation. About two months in to it, right after I started working for my chiropractor/acupuncturist, we had a patient with almost the same exact story. Had the surgery, and two weeks after gallbladder removal she was in as much, if not more pain than before. I can remember the pain in her voice and the confusion she had as to why it still hurt so much. I had told her about the gallbladderattack.com website before her surgery and urged her to follow it's advice, but she had brushed it off because she had already chosen to have it removed and that was going to be the "answer" for her. When I talked to her those two weeks later, I told her about the website again and she eagerly wrote it down. I haven't seen her since, but I can only hope that she did go to the website and follow its advice. Doing that saved my health, and taking that path has made all the difference in my life.

Not quite with it lately.

I feel an overwhelming amount of, what I would call, "phantom" stress lately. It's been manifesting itself every which way and the result is that I am completely exhausted- mentally, emotionally, physically. To cope I have, as I always use to, been turning to food, which is not good. Last week, I had more Starbucks than I have in the last few months combined and by the end of the week I was drinking venti cappuccino's instead of the healthier, more digestively friendly, and less caffeinated iced green teas. Every cappuccino gave me that old familiar high and sense of relaxation though, it made me feel calmer and less agitated, despite it making me shaky and dizzy later from the caffeine, sugar, and dairy combo. By the end of the day Friday I was completely hyped up on caffeine, sugar and dairy, crashed almost immediately after work from exhaustion, but couldn't sleep because the caffeine was still having it's affect on me.

So, I'm not feeling completely with it. The stress is making my tummy turn and my head feel funny, but, thankfully, there has been little to no gallbladder activity.

I realized the other day that it is the peak of summer, all of the fresh fruits and vegetables are coming available, and I have no interest in eating them. Can you say stress? All I want is caffeine, sugar, and dairy- as we have already concluded- and additionally protein and fat with a little bit of carbs. It's the weirdest thing and I'm not feeling as though I have the energy to combat the food cravings and to force myself to eat healthier again. I have managed to keep portion size in control though, so I've at least got that going for me.

I need to work on strategies to destress and to refocus my energy... mainly, so I have more. The exhaustion is killing me! My therapist gave me a fun exercise to play with silly putty to help me destress. It is surprisingly effective. I got really nauseous the other night while discussing some stressful things with a friend. It just happened to be the day I got the silly putty, too. I got off the phone with her and determined the nausea could be due in part to having discussed the stressful "trigger" topics we had been talking about. Pulled out the silly putty. Well, whaddya know? Within five minutes almost all of the nausea was gone. Who knew silly putty could be such a powerful thing?

Tonight I need to play with the silly putty some more, I think. Off, I go... silly putty, read, maybe a long hot shower, and then bed. Need to rest up to destress!

Growing food and doin' a whole lot of nothin'

Well, it's been... a few...weeks. But better late than never!

The last two weeks I've been on a mission to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Exhaustion from over committing and over socializing finally caught up and the hubs and I decided to spend some quality time being hermits. It's been wonderful. Fourth of July weekend kicked it off, and we spent all day the 4th watching movies and doing a whole lot of nothing. It was a rainy, dreary day, so that worked in favor of our goal of doing nothing, we didn't even go out for the fireworks. The rain had cleared by then, only misting occassionally, but we still didn't feel obligated to move from our comfortable positions on the couch. I think the most movement we did that day was to do a yoga video for about thirty minutes, just for the sake of movement. On the 5th we did decide to spend the morning cleaning the house, then we quickly resumed our couch potato status to finish out the weekend strong.

Last weekend we pretty much did the same thing, though not quite as many movies. Mostly computer and video games. Feeling a bit more relaxed and refreshed, and while I wish it could last longer, it's time to move on with life.

Speaking of, we finally started to harvest from our garden! We have harvested a batch of green beans (which I may or not determine to be allergic to in the near future, the verdict is still out, though things did not go well the other day with that batch or an item I got from a restaurant earlier in the week), and we've harvested a batch of cucumbers as well. The cucumbers are just fantastic. I've been enjoying them in sandwiches for lunch the last few days, and today I decided to add a slice of salami (my latest obsession) to the mix and it was divine. Can't wait to eat another for lunch tomorrow!

So I've got some new pictures of the garden to share that I took earlier this week. Who knew growing your own food could be so fun and fascinating!?

Starting to get strawberries! As of today, one is almost entirely red and ready for me to eat!

Between my two plants I have about four peppers growing, and many blossoms starting to show. Yesterday my husband and I noticed that our hot peppers were starting to get some flowers too, so we are excited for chilis and serranos to come soon!

The butternut squash plant is about to overgrow it's container. It looks really neat. Plus, I noticed the first tiny flower bud today! I love butternut squash. I can't wait to make lots of stocks and risottos and soups!

It turns out, when you grow cucumbers in a hanging position,they start to look like this. I kind of think they are cute. Didn't taste any different either, and that's what matters!

Still waiting for the tomatoes to turn red. Lots of romas working their way out!

And finally, the green beans. Not sure what I was having an allergic reaction to, so I will have to do a food challenge next time the crop is ready. They are part of the legume family, so there is a possibility that allergy is finally manifesting itself, but I'm not so sure. I'm wondering if the sauce on the ones I ate at the restaurant earlier in the week didn't have some fish sauce or something on them...