It's Lent Again!

Although I am not a particularly religious person- I've always referred to myself as being more spiritual than anything- one good Catholic girl tradition I try to observe every year (other than the mandatory Christmas and Easter services) is to give something up for lent. By sacrificing something for a while we challenge ourselves to not indulge in behaviors/things that are either bad for us in the first place or not necessary in our lives. In some respects, I guess with the recession this year a lot of people are learning to "do without" on many different levels, so by observing this small Catholic tradition while I am (still) gainfully employed (knock on wood) can actually give a bit of a sense of humility in some respects. That might be a bit of a stretch, but if you think about it even such a small action can bring you down to another person's level. Having sacrificed so much last summer for the sake of my health by giving up gluten, dairy, meat, my beloved ice cream (still 6+ months sober, thank you), and other foods I over indulged on I have already experimented with the whole sacrificing thing. And boy did it give me a new perspective on friends with celiac and other severe dietary restrictions. It also made me grow as a person by learning different food choices and healthier food choices, and the payoff was tremendous- you really can't complain about losing 50 pounds and no longer being hypertensive or hypersensitive to the planet.

So, for my health, and to get back on track with my healthy lifestyle I am using lent to re-detoxify myself from a few of my food vices I began to take for granted again and were probably the catalyst for my recent health setbacks with gallbladder/liver flare-ups. The past month or so I have blogged about the addictive nature of these items and I think the coming weeks through Easter will help me reconquer those challenges I have with food addiction. No more chocolate or Starbucks for me, and you know what, I think this might be a little easier than I anticipated. I can already feel my body thanking me.

Taking a few steps back.

Thursday night was not a good night. It all started Wednesday when I overdid it on my Mega Acid A supplement, following it up with a half can of Coke and then some chocolate. yeeeeeeaaaaahhh.... Not a good combo. Needless to say from all the acid going into my stomach (some the good kind, some the not-so-good laden with refined processed sugars kind) I had some digestive issues shortly thereafter. Things settled down a few hours later, but I didn't feel "right" the rest of the day.

Thursday morning I was doing my biweekly marathon to Chicago for voice lessons and decided to ignore my stomach's warnings and get Starbucks for breakfast. I only made it through half of the low-fat turkey bacon sandwich before I knew I was at my threshold. Luckily, things were okay for the rest of the car trip but my stomach still felt off.

In my voice lesson all sorts of strange noises happened whenever I took a deep breath and my voice teacher suggested that something might be swollen.... aha! Given the episode the day before and the "off" feeling I had from eating my breakfast it made complete sense that my stomach (or other organ) would be somewhat swollen.

Lunch went over just fine with my tummy, which is not surprising since I ate my favorite biweekly Whole Foods lunch of all sorts of healthy veggie salads. The only problem I ran in to was that my stomach felt "gurgly" like I needed to eat more. I got the gurgly sensation to stop by drinking more fluids and eating the cereal I had brought with for breakfast that morning (that I decided not to eat in lieu of Starbucks).

Until dinner I felt a little better but still unsettled in my stomach. We went to Red Lobster for dinner and I did good eating trout and veggies but included a mango berry cocktail with it. And that, folks, is where I went completely wrong. The rest of the night I felt really weird and didn't even want my husband to kiss me goodnight because I felt uncomfortable and a little nauseous. I took some of my gallbladder attack supplements and experienced some mild relief before going to bed. However, at 3:30 am I woke up with some severe pain under my right ribcage and ended up having to spend the next few hours sleeping upright on the couch while I waited for it to subside after taking more gallbladder relief supplements. Funny thing is that it felt more like my liver that was swollen and throbbing as opposed to my gallbladder. The pain and tenderness was different and I didn't feel near as nauseous as I do during a typical gallbladder attack nor did I have the referred right shoulder blade pain. It was weird.

Friday I drank my liver and gallbladder detox tinctures and I swear nothing has ever tasted to so good. Clearly my body's reaction to the tincture taste told me that I am in desperate need of a detox. So.... I think I need to go bad to a stricter diet again and remove a few of the foods I had reincorporated into my diet back to the "avoid" list. I'm also watching my portion sizes like a hawk. Funny enough, I just got back from lunch at a Chinese buffet and did surprisingly well on what I ate! Well, as well as one can do when eating at a Chinese buffet...

Must Read Food Allergy News!!!

As a food allergy/sensitivity suffer eating out at restaurants can be really tricky, especially if you have odd food allergies like mine. Recently, the state of Massachusetts passed legislation that requires restaurants to train employees on handling customers with food allergies and what a food allergy can mean for the customer. That's my paraphrasing, but long story short this is great news if it becomes a nationwide initiative! The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxsis website has info about the Massachusetts legislation and what other states are doing, if you want to read up on it.

Other good news is that researchers may have developed a Chinese herbal remedy to stop peanut and other food allergies! You all know I am really in to the Chinese herbs and remedies from my success with acupuncture and I can't wait to see the results of the human trails that were approved to begin by the FDA. This could be some really great news for us food allergy sufferers!

The bad news for the day is that Northwest Airlines is bringing back peanut snacks on their planes. There were too many great links about this and traveling with food allergies that I am going to direct you to Please Don't Pass the Nuts blog I got the info from. If you are a food allergy sufferer, this blog is great to follow! She does a great job about sharing relevant news and experiences to living with food allergies. A great resource!

Meditation: Day 1

Although it was my day off, today had some emotional stressors pop up that have been weighing on my mind ever since. Stuff like that makes me wish I was one of those people who doesn't stew over things and can just move on with it and say, "okay, whatever." Alas, that is not how I currently operate, though there was a point during the summer I was starting to get there. Maybe it's because I stopped doing as much acupuncture lately? I don't know, but I am going to work hard to get to that place of mental/emotional well-being. It's important to be able to role with the punches, I think, and be able to handle whatever comes your way in a level-headed rational, and assertive if need be, way. This is my goal: to live in a state of mental and emotional acuteness that allows me to be present and responsive to the world around me and react to the events that take place in a calm, collected, assertive manner that allows me to be forthright in my being and beliefs while maintaining serenity and respect for those around me.

So, step one towards achieving that goal? I am going to try some meditation time tonight before I go to bed. Hopefully it will allow me to release the stress of the day and relax before sleeping.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Hypersensitivity and Overeating

Kids, kids, kids, I've got a problem! I can't stop eating! Yet again my stomach has decided to stop communicating on when it's full or hungry, and I'm also having issues with hypersensitivity. No Fun!

Somehow, I've lost control with my eating. I just keep eating and I keep wanting more and different things. I wish I could figure out what it is that my body needs because the overeating needs to cease and desist. To put things in perspective, lets chronicle what I have actually consumed today:

Breakfast: Bowl of cinnamon oat crunch cereal with raspberries and rice milk
Snack: Chips and salsa, roast beef, salami, and something else I've forgotten
Lunch: Bowl of homemade collard greens, potato, and tomato soup, half of a roast beef sandwich on flaxseed bread
Starbucks: Grande non-fat decaf vanilla cappuccino
Snack: Orange, bread with olive tapenade
Starbucks: Venti half caf non-fat vanilla cappuccino
Dinner: Another bowl of soup, two pieces of flaxseed bread with dark chocolate peanut butter, honey, and brown sugar, and a small serving of chips and salsa.

Seriously, it's way too much food. And I still feel like I could eat more if I wanted to (which part of me does). And the whole thing upsets me because in many ways it puts me right back where I was a year ago... mindlessly overeating to fill some unknown void in my life.

Aha! But perhaps I am on to something. Maybe it's not so much that I'm deficient in a nutrient or protein of some sort, but there is something else that I am trying to fill, an emotional need. But what? It's so hard to put your finger on it, you know?

Come to think of it, the overeating started a good month ago when I was stressing out pretty good when I had an reencounter with some toxic people that I had removed from my life. Maybe, I haven't fully recovered and moved on from that event. Just thinking about it now brings up some pretty intense emotions, so maybe I really am on to something. Strange how just writing out a stream of conscienceness (sp?) can bring out these types of revelations...

I might need to spend some time meditating to clear my head of the demons that have taken hold of it. Earlier this week I was talking to someone about meditating and I think that would be good for me to take up, and I think now might just be the time. Hopefully, when I am able to become more centered with myself, clear the toxicity from my mind, I will be able to regain control of my eating and binging. A mental "cleansing" should do me some good.

Anyway, to go along with my overeating, I started having hypersensitivity issues again. For the past few days my lips and mouth keep threatening to swell and get hivey. Yesterday I almost went to a complete full-blown allergic reaction, but it went away quickly. After that short episode I decided to air on the side of caution and wipe down the whole desk area in the case that some massage oil (made of almonds) or snack almonds (that my coworker STILL leaves at her work station even though I frequently end up at her work station helping patients) got on anything. The weird thing is that 95% of the time I'm fine and have no problems working around that stuff, but all of the sudden I will get these hypersensitivity flair-ups and get the random mild, short-lived, lip and throat swelling. I don't get it. Maybe it's a reaction to the overeating? Who knows!

What I do know for sure is that this post was a very long stream of conscience. But, hey, it's my blog, I can do that, right? :)

Sweet Cravings and Some Inspiration

For the past few weeks (okay, maybe decades) I've been having some sweet cravings that need to be satisfied. Along with needing to fulfill an insatiable need for red meat I am also wanting sweets. Granted, I have kept the binging to a minimum, and, thankfully, I am able to satisfy the cravings without overindulging in any single sitting for the most part, but nonetheless still keep wanting some sweets. Sunday's night's dinner was an example of such a day where I wanted the sweet tastes to keep coming.

Dinner was a recreation from the meal I had at McCormick and Schmick's a few weekends ago. The seabass I ate that night was fantastic and it inspired to me to attempt to recreate it at home. I was fairly certain I had the miso broth flavoring nailed, and sure enough, I got it. Small victory for my "refined" palate identifying all of the flavors! Miso paste (of course), green onion, ginger, shittake mushroom, and sugar. I didn't make mine quite as sweet as the one I had at McCormick and Schmick's but that flavor was spot on otherwise. So I pan grilled the seabass, sauteed some veggies in toasted sesame oil, and put everything on top of some udon noodles. I am still humming over the buttery taste of the seabass marinated in the sweet miso broth. It was a match made in heaven!

From the saltiness of the miso broth my husband and I both craved something sweet to balance it out. I hadn't planned on doing dessert because the dinner was so substantial, so I got a little creative. Earlier in the week I found a dark chocolate peanut butter while shopping at Whole Foods and wanted to use it in a sweet application. The PB itself is surprisingly not sweet, but does have a mild chocolate flavoring too it. One of my favorite things to do with peanut butter is to warm it up so it's melty and buttery and this particular peanut butter needed something done to it. So I melted it, smeared it on some warm toasted bread, and sprinkled it with honey and a little bit of brown sugar. It was soooooo good! As you can see, I took a bite of it first to make sure it was as good as I thought it would be before taking a picture!

Now I just need the sweet cravings to start subsiding so I can get back to eating a little healthier. Still struggling on rekicking the caffeine habit (darn you Starbucks!), but I'm sure by the end of the week I will make some progress. I would have to imagine the sweet cravings will go away once I detox myself from the caffeine again. Perhaps I will switch to black coffee... that should get me started in the right direction. Still get the caffeine for energy but without the sugar. Hmmm, I will have to try that method out.

It's official, I'm hibernating

Wednesday morning I asked my personal trainer about the whole "craving fatty, sugary food" thing and he confirmed me that yes, it is quite common during the winter to prepare your body for hibernation as such. He said it's okay that I eat these fattier things so long as I still make sure I'm getting my veggies and whatnot. Granted, he did not give me a license to binge and pig out on the fattier more sugary foods, but he told me it was okay to respond to my body's seasonal food cravings.

So I had two more roast beef sandwiches this week, and some more Starbucks (including those pesky but oh so tasty vanilla cupcakes they are selling right now). I'm trying to keep it in moderation, and the really great thing is that it's not as hard as I would have thought it would be. My food cravings are so much the "I need to get a sugar high" type (or overeating, or fatty-filling, or whatever) as they are meeting an urge to give my body what it needs. Fat. And warmth. So as soon as that need is filled I could care less what I eat the rest of the day, or if I eat at all! Of course, to stay healthy I do eat, but I'm not forcing myself to fill my body with things it doesn't want (lots of cold salads, or the same sauteed veggies).

To create the balance of feeding my body what it needs, I have been eating a lot more protein... which is, I think, what it all boils down to- my body needing protein. When eating said protein I make sure that it is accompanied by fruits and/or veggies of some sort. For example, last night we had a kind of breakfast for dinner: turkey sausage covered in maple syrup, sauteed potatoes with orange pepper, and fresh cut strawberries. My husband and I couldn't believe how satisfying that meal was, and it was fairly decent on the healthy scale! For dinner tonight, I did a Stouffer's lasagna (it's Friday, I can be lazy) and served it with a salad of spring mix greens, orange pepper, hearts of palm, and cucumber. That was an awesome meal... and I made sure to eat the salad first to minimize how much lasagna I ate... cheese still is not always my friend so we keep that in moderation.

I'm rejoicing in allowing my body to want to hibernate. I am feeding it's need responsibly and with healthy food. Crazy to think that a year ago I tried to fill this need with ice cream and cookies, and it only made the need become a never-ending, insatiable craving. As Dr Phil would say, "so how's that working out for ya?" It wasn't! I feel so great now and satisfied. Such a foreign word to me after 29 years. Satisfied. It's so cool.

Oh, and apparently my talking about roast beef sandwiches rubbed off on my co-worker! I told her I was getting one for lunch today and she decided she had to have one too because it sounded so satisfying!

PS Food pix will come again soon... my camera battery died and I have yet to recharge it.